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This is the Meaning of Life (Really)

The rain wouldn’t stop humming its nightsong on the roof of the camper as the cicadas sang the repetitive melody of their people—the sound of a spoon being raked against the gentle ridges of a tin can. (I’ve been staying on the east coast with family, which means my own little oasis is inside an RV parked in the driveway.) It’s no big surprise to anyone that I struggle with anxiety nearly all the time, and it’s worse as soon…

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I’ve Made it a Year in Business—And Here Are My Finances

Right now, I’m 39,000 feet above the earth. (Please, for the love of all that’s holy, let’s pretend it’s because I’m a superhero with superheroesque powers, rather than being in a plane.) I just wiped my hand with a piping hot towel, ate a delicious meal of 3-cheese tortellini and some antipasta, and I’m leisurely sipping on some dry, white wine. The first class cabin is more than comfortable, and to put it simply, I feel spoiled rotten. After an…

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I “Chose” To Be Happy, and It Actually F*cking Worked

Her naked ass smacked against my arm as she jumped onto my bed, the impossibly thin mattress shifting against its plywood frame. “Will you braid my hair?” She shoved a stiff, tan rubber band into my empty hand, and I knew immediately that she’d stolen it from a newspaper in the community room. I soundlessly nodded, my mouth gaping open like a fish as she turned around and tossed her thick, curly hair over her shoulder and down her back. I started…

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This Is My Body: A Series of Pictures of Me in My Skivvies

This is my body.   It goes to yoga 3 times a week, the sweat curling my hair into wet, face-framing ringlets. It has galaxies of freckles that race along the tops of its shoulders and the highest places of its cheek bones. It feels best with 9 hours of sleep, but can get by just fine on 6. It’s not anywhere near perfect, but it’s mine. My body is 20 pounds under its heaviest weight, which means it’s still heavier…

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I Told My Trade Secrets to a Stranger on the Internet

I shook him awake at 2:43 a.m.   “IT HAS ADELE IN IT,” I said as loudly as I could while still managing to whisper. He rolled over. “THERE’S A WHOLE PDF,” I shout-whispered, staring into the glaring white light of my phone. “SOMEONE ELSE WANTS TO BE MY INTERN.” “It’s your turn for what?” “NO! MY INTERN! SHE’S, LIKE, A REALLY GOOD WRITER.” Long story short, I didn’t take on an intern. Despite getting a perfectly executed and completely hilarious PDF outlining…

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Honestly? Getting Engaged Almost Ruined My Relationship

The first time I threw away my engagement ring, I was doing 65 down the northbound highway. I rolled down my window, shoved my ring finger in my mouth, and pulled off the narrow, geometric band with my teeth. I spat it into the aggressive wind, the ring too delicate for me to be able to see it bounce along the asphalt and get crunched under tires. I wanted to see it bounce. I craved to see that crunch. I needed…

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Once Upon a Time, I Checked Myself Into the Loony Bin

“Well, you’re a positive little bitch—I’ll give you that.” The retired sheriff leaned in, wrapping me in her long, wiry arms as my softer ones hugged her right back. “I’m going to miss you,” I muttered into the sharp A-line bob that so perfectly played up her stunning eyes and long, elegant face. She whacked me on the back and stepped aside to make way for the other goodbyes; long, strong hugs from strangers who had all banded together in…

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